Well, it looks like Senator Dick Durbin is finally calling it quits. After more than four decades of cozying up to the D.C. swamp and cementing his place as the consummate Democratic insider, Illinois’ second-favorite son (sorry, Barack) has decided that 2026 will be his swan song. And let’s be honest, this isn’t exactly a shocker.
At 80 years old and facing a political climate that even Democrats are privately admitting is getting a little too hot, Durbin probably figured it was better to bow out now than to risk getting dragged through a brutal campaign he no longer has the energy—or the political capital—to endure.
Durbin’s carefully worded farewell video was textbook legacy-polishing: “I truly love the job of being a United States Senator,” he said. Yeah, we bet you do. Who wouldn’t love a job where you get to rubber-stamp 235 federal judges (many of whom will spend the next few decades rewriting the Constitution from the bench), play kingmaker in the Judiciary Committee, and wield power as the second-ranking Senate Democrat, all while preaching “equity” from the ivory tower? It’s been a pretty sweet gig, no doubt.
I have given more than half of my life to House and Senate Congressional service, and I’ve always tried to stand up to power on behalf of the people of Illinois and our country.
I am proud of what I have achieved and hope my record will speak for itself. pic.twitter.com/oiY49IQCUF
— Senator Dick Durbin (@SenatorDurbin) April 23, 2025
Let’s not gloss over the fact that Durbin leaves behind a legacy full of partisan trench warfare. Sure, the mainstream press likes to paint him as the sensible Midwestern moderate, but let’s not pretend he didn’t get his hands dirty. Remember when he accused GOP governors of violating “every basic standard of decency” for sending migrants to sanctuary cities—the same sanctuary cities that beg for open borders until, surprise, the buses actually show up? Or the time he casually dismissed Sen. Tim Scott’s police reform plan as a “token” gesture—only to sheepishly apologize after the backlash hit? Yeah, good ol’ Midwest decency in action.
Of course, with Durbin stepping down, Illinois Democrats are already circling like political vultures. Expect an all-out brawl among Lt. Gov. Juliana Stratton, Rep. Raja Krishnamoorthi, Rep. Lauren Underwood, and Rep. Robin Kelly. Translation: it’s going to be a progressive pageant where candidates compete to see who can out-woke each other the fastest.
Meanwhile, the GOP might consider entering the fray, though let’s be real—this is Illinois we’re talking about. The last time a Republican won statewide office here without being a billionaire or an anomaly was… let’s just say it’s been a minute.
That said, the Senate map in 2026 could be full of surprises. With Durbin gone, and three other Democrats—Gary Peters, Jeanne Shaheen, and Tina Smith—also heading for the exits, the Dems’ Senate bench is looking more like a game of musical chairs at a retirement home.
And while the media is quick to declare that Democrats are grooming the “next generation of leadership,” let’s call it what it is: a scramble to replace a group of aging politicians with equally out-of-touch careerists.
Then there’s the question of who takes over Durbin’s whip role. Word on the street is that the unhinged partisan Sheldon Whitehouse is eyeing that slot. Nothing screams “bipartisan cooperation” like replacing the faux-moderate Durbin with a guy who probably sees dark money in his breakfast cereal. Even Democrats are reportedly sweating that one.
And of course, we got the obligatory swooning from Barack Obama, who credited Durbin for helping him launch his political career. That part we can actually believe. Durbin’s fingerprints are all over the rise of left-wing orthodoxy in the Senate, and he was instrumental in shaping a judiciary that bends toward progressive activism. In many ways, Durbin wasn’t just part of the system—he helped design the blueprint.
So while Democrats light their candles and hold their virtual vigils for a retiring statesman, let’s remember: Dick Durbin’s departure isn’t just the end of an era. It’s a symbol of everything that’s wrong with the bloated, out-of-touch, entrenched establishment. The man didn’t just pass the torch—he lit it in a backroom deal and handed it off with a wink and a nod.
Goodbye, Dick. Don’t let the revolving door hit you on the way out.
