Tim Walz Goes Fishing At The 77th Governor’s Fishing Open

By
Rachel Stevenson
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Let’s paint a picture: a sun-splashed Minnesota lake, the tranquil hum of boat motors on the breeze, and a Democrat governor trying to remember which end of the fishing rod catches the fish. That was the scene Sunday during the 77th Governor’s Fishing Opener, where Tim Walz—Minnesota’s own struggling political angler—was surrounded not by biting walleye, but by a flotilla of Trump-supporting fishermen who brought along their megaphones and their sharpest Trump impersonations. And let me tell you, they reeled in more laughs than he ever came close to reeling in a fish.

There he was, head down, white cap pulled low, trying to block out the boatload of hecklers circling like seagulls over a dropped bratwurst. One megaphoned impersonator mockingly praised the governor’s technique, joking that Walz had dumped minnows out of a bucket to fake a catch—because hey, if you can’t win the real thing, just stage it, right? Sound familiar?

Another zinger: the instructions on how to fish were on the bottom of the rod, and poor Timmy couldn’t read them—because they were in Chinese. And what do you know, someone in the peanut gallery quipped, “Well he does read Chinese!” Cue the laughter, and not the kind a campaign ad is going to save. This is the same guy who used to take diplomatic junkets to China like most people take trips to the grocery store. So yeah, the dig landed.

Now let’s talk about that infamous campaign loss alongside Kamala Harris—the ticket that was supposed to “code talk” to white guys who fix their own trucks and eat their tacos without cilantro. Walz admitted he was chosen because he could “put them at ease,” like some kind of political emotional support animal. Except, spoiler alert: white dudes didn’t buy the act. They didn’t fall for the “I’m just like you, please vote for me” schtick, and Walz’s pasty pandering landed with all the grace of a goose in a headwind. He was the political version of a dad trying to use TikTok slang—awkward, unnecessary, and painfully transparent.

Yet, despite being politely shown the door by American voters, the man won’t stop popping up in swing states, like an expired coupon you keep finding in your glove box. He’s out there trying to rehabilitate his brand, still hoping that the next act of folksy theater will finally convince someone that he’s the real deal. Problem is, it’s hard to pull off “down-to-earth everyman” when your political instincts come wrapped in Beltway consultant-speak and your favorite policy initiatives read like an HR manual from a DEI seminar.

And let’s not forget the cherry on top—his now-infamous Opening Day jinx. The governor wished the Minnesota Twins a perfect season, and they promptly went 0-4. If Tim Walz tells you it’s going to be a sunny day, grab your umbrella and head for higher ground. This is the same guy who casually admitted to having a “smart a**” streak and an “unhealthy” obsession with Elon Musk. Nothing says leadership like an elected official rage-posting about Tesla from the governor’s mansion.

All this wouldn’t be quite so entertaining if he weren’t still polling near the top of the Democratic field for 2028. That’s right. Despite his gaffes, awkward campaign trail behavior, and fishing rod fumbles, Walz is somehow still in the mix. Of course, he’s still second to Kamala Harris, who may or may not be abandoning the national stage for the California governor’s race. Because nothing says stability like a field of candidates who can’t decide whether they’re running a country or running from responsibility.

So here’s to Tim Walz: master of minnows, lover of China, decoder of “white guy” football metaphors, and the Democrats’ idea of authentic. If this is their version of a rising star, conservatives might want to send him a thank-you card and a few extra buckets of bait for his next fishing trip. He’s doing more to help the GOP than he probably realizes.

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