Senate Probe Finds Money Used For Models

By
Rachel Stevenson
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Ah yes, nothing says “wartime economic relief” quite like sending Ukrainian models and designers on an all-expenses-paid trip to Paris Fashion Week, courtesy of the American taxpayer. Because, as we all know, when your country is knee-deep in a brutal conflict, the absolute top priority is making sure the latest luxury knitwear gets the runway treatment it deserves.

Thanks to the now-shuttered U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID), we can all sleep a little easier knowing that at least some of our billions in Ukraine aid went to funding an artisanal fruit tea company, a high-end dog collar manufacturer, and—my personal favorite—a custom carpet company that somehow raked in two million dollars. Forget weapons, forget infrastructure, forget humanitarian relief—what Ukraine really needed was premium carpeting and chic wedding dresses.

Senator Joni Ernst (R-Iowa) blew the lid off this absolute circus on Wednesday, revealing that USAID didn’t just quietly fritter away American tax dollars on these extravagant projects—they actively hid it. When Ernst’s staff tried to look at the agency’s books, USAID suddenly decided their spending habits were “classified.” Yes, classified. As if revealing how much taxpayer money was spent on fashion photographers and designer artisanal folk crafts was some kind of national security risk. In reality, it wasn’t classified at all—it was just downright embarrassing.

And let’s talk about Ukraine’s own leader, Volodymyr Zelensky. This is the same guy who has spent the last two years on an international guilt trip tour, shaking down the U.S. and European allies for billions while warning of mass suffering and catastrophe if the money doesn’t keep flowing. And what do we find out? That instead of using those funds for defense, reconstruction, or even basic humanitarian needs, USAID thought it would be a fantastic idea to invest in a luxury bridal brand. Because nothing says we’re in a life-or-death struggle for our nation’s survival like making sure the high-end wedding industry remains afloat.

It gets even better. When Ernst’s office finally forced USAID to cough up some numbers, the agency still tried to make things as difficult as possible. Staffers were forced to review documents inside a SCIF (Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility), the same type of ultra-secure setting normally reserved for top-secret intelligence briefings. The kicker? None of this was classified material.

This was just a pathetic bureaucratic charade to slow-walk congressional oversight and avoid accountability. Because if the American people found out their tax dollars were being funneled into a confectionary company in Ukraine, they might start asking inconvenient questions—like, “Where’s the accountability?” and “Why are we still sending money to these people?”

But wait, there’s more! Turns out, USAID also let NGOs pocket more than 25% of these grants to cover their own “indirect costs,” like rent and office expenses. So not only was taxpayer money being wasted on nonsense, but a good chunk of it didn’t even make it to Ukraine at all—it just got funneled back into the bureaucratic abyss of non-governmental organizations with zero oversight. And when Ernst asked for more transparency, USAID’s response was essentially shrug and trust us, it’s legal.

Now, as all this comes to light, what’s Zelensky doing? Oh, he’s coming to Washington to sign a new mineral deal. Because why not? When your government’s financial habits start looking suspiciously similar to a teenager blowing their allowance on concert tickets and overpriced sneakers, the logical next step is to ask for more money. And rest assured, there will be politicians and bureaucrats eager to hand it over, no questions asked.

At this point, it’s hard to tell whether this is a tragic comedy or an absurdist performance piece. We were told Ukraine aid was an urgent necessity. We were told every dollar was essential to defending democracy. What we weren’t told is that those dollars would be funding a dog collar company and bankrolling VIP trips to South by Southwest. Maybe, just maybe, before sending another blank check to Ukraine, Congress should ask itself if we’re actually funding a war effort—or just subsidizing Europe’s most extravagant business expo.

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