The mainstream media is at it again, folks. Just when you think they can’t possibly find something dumber to panic over, they go and prove you wrong. This time, it’s CNN clutching its pearls over—wait for it—a 19-year-old staffer in Donald Trump’s second-term administration. Yes, the same people who think 16-year-olds are mature enough to vote are now hyperventilating over a teenager working in government. The hypocrisy would be stunning if it weren’t so predictable.
So here’s what happened. Elon Musk, now leading the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), has hired a team of young, presumably sharp staffers. Enter ProPublica, the dark-money-funded “news” outlet that only seems interested in “investigations” when Republicans are in power. They run a piece spotlighting one of these staffers—horrified to learn that, gasp, he’s 19 years old. And if that wasn’t scandalous enough, CNN picks up the story and finds the real smoking gun: at some point in his life, this kid went by the name “Big Balls” online.
I’ll give you a moment to collect yourself after that earth-shattering revelation.
CNN, in its infinite wisdom, then dedicates an entire segment to breathlessly reporting on this dire national security threat. A straight-faced reporter informs us that this teenager once registered an LLC with another highly unfortunate name—”Tesla.Sexxy LLC.” Yes, really. Apparently, we are all supposed to be scandalized by the fact that a tech-savvy teenager started companies and owned a bunch of web domains. Oh, the horror!
Now, if you think it can’t get more ridiculous, you underestimate the legacy media’s ability to humiliate itself. After unveiling the shocking revelation that a teenager once used an edgy online handle, CNN’s Erin Burnett brings on left-wing tech reporter Kara Swisher to analyze this dire situation. And that’s when we got one of the greatest images in cable news history:
The on-screen chyron, in all its glory, read: “DOGE Teen, Known Online As ‘Big Balls,’ Now an ‘Expert.'”
Hang it in the Louvre
The chyron. The faces they’re making. It’s all perfect pic.twitter.com/fqZeNg8jIw
— John Hasson (@SonofHas) February 7, 2025
It’s almost too good to be true. If the Newseum still existed in Washington (it doesn’t, because nobody actually wanted to pay for a shrine to the mainstream media’s self-importance), this screenshot would deserve its own exhibit. The level of seriousness with which CNN treats this non-story is nothing short of performance art.
But beyond the absurdity, there’s a deeper takeaway here. Notice how these outlets never bother to investigate the rampant waste, inefficiency, and outright corruption in the federal government when Democrats are in charge? When billions vanish into bureaucratic black holes, when taxpayer money gets funneled into pet projects and foreign slush funds, they’re nowhere to be found. But the moment a Republican administration dares to put someone in charge of cleaning up the mess? Suddenly, CNN and ProPublica spring into action, desperately trying to discredit anyone involved.
CNN having a meltdown over “Big Balls” (19-year-old DOGE staffer) pic.twitter.com/7kSKj9Dx8v
— End Wokeness (@EndWokeness) February 7, 2025
And let’s be honest—this isn’t about “journalism.” It’s about partisanship. CNN and its fellow travelers in the press aren’t afraid that DOGE will be ineffective. They’re afraid it will be effective. They’re afraid Musk and his team will actually expose just how much money is being wasted, how bloated and inefficient the government has become, and how many unqualified bureaucrats are collecting fat paychecks for doing nothing.
So what do they do? They don’t investigate the mission of DOGE. They don’t ask whether it’s saving taxpayers money. Instead, they try to doxx a 19-year-old staffer and mock him for something he called himself online as a teenager. Because that’s what passes for journalism in 2025.
But here’s the kicker: this nonsense isn’t going to stop DOGE from doing its job. If CNN and ProPublica think they can scare off Musk and his team with this juvenile hit piece, they are in for a rude awakening. Americans aren’t buying the manufactured outrage anymore, and the more the press embarrasses itself with stunts like this, the more irrelevant they become.
So keep it up, CNN. If your goal was to prove, once again, why nobody trusts you, mission accomplished.
