Ah, Connecticut — the land of covered bridges, fall foliage, and apparently now, Satanic flag standoffs. Who knew the Nutmeg State would be the latest battleground in the war over whether a city hall flagpole should stand for values, virtue, or… some guy’s Florida-based fantasy church where the devil wears Prada and sues municipalities?
Let’s start with the facts: towns across Connecticut — New Britain, Hartford, Torrington, Bridgeport, Waterbury — have proudly hoisted the Christian flag. You know, the one with a red cross on a blue field, representing the faith that, for better or worse, built the foundation of Western law, art, morality, and yes, even your local zoning board. These cities decided to take a moment to honor that shared heritage. A “beautiful morning of celebrating Christianity,” said New Britain Mayor Erin Stewart. Scandalous, I know.
Enter Chaz Stevens, self-proclaimed First Amendment warrior, armed with sarcasm, an email address, and apparently a vendetta against flags that don’t offend at least half the room. He’s demanding that these towns now fly the banner of his mock-religion — the “Church of Satanology and Perpetual Soirée.” (A name so ridiculous it sounds like a rejected Coachella stage.) His rationale? If you let Christians on the pole, you gotta let Beelzebub in too. That’s what he says the Constitution demands.
Now, let’s be clear: no one’s stopping Chaz from holding a rally, starting a podcast, or printing up all the Satan-themed bumper stickers he wants. But a Florida man trying to strong-arm Connecticut cities into flying a satirical “Satan Loves the First Amendment” flag is not an act of brave civil resistance — it’s a performance. And let’s not pretend he’s just holding up a mirror. He’s holding up a middle finger and hoping someone with a camera catches it.
In his lawsuit, Chaz Stevens said Satanology promotes “religious plurality, secularism and the separation of church and state….” https://t.co/vNP1sDKFqv
— The Ledger (@theledger) January 7, 2025
See, Stevens is leaning heavily on the 2022 Supreme Court ruling Shurtleff v. Boston, where the Court ruled that Boston violated the First Amendment by denying a Christian group the right to fly a flag while allowing others. Important case, sure. But Stevens isn’t exactly following the same blueprint. Boston invited public submissions for flags — some cities in Connecticut don’t. Hartford, for instance, made their flag-raising decision via city council vote. That’s not a public forum. That’s representative democracy — something Stevens might’ve learned about if he were busy reading civics textbooks instead of writing snarky emails about Satan’s love for nutmeg.
And then there’s the residency issue. New Britain’s official flag-raising policy requires the requesting organization to represent city residents. Stevens, by his own admission, lives in Florida. That’s about 1,300 miles away — roughly the distance from here to rationality, in this case. But hey, no need to let technicalities like residency requirements get in the way of a good headline, right?
The real irony here? The only thing Stevens is proving is that even his brand of chaos depends on the very constitutional order he claims to mock. Without the freedom established by — you guessed it — the Judeo-Christian values enshrined in the founding documents of this country, he wouldn’t have the right to act like a one-man political cartoon.
A city raising a Christian flag to honor its community’s heritage is not theocracy. It’s not the “Handmaid’s Tale.” It’s not the Vatican annexing New Britain. It’s simply a nod to the faith that has shaped millions of Americans’ lives — and last time I checked, having faith wasn’t a crime.
But if Chaz wants to keep sending emails, let him. Connecticut’s got better things to do — like fixing potholes, funding schools, and maybe, just maybe, standing up for the values that built this country rather than bending over backwards to avoid offending a guy whose idea of civic engagement involves Satan in a tuxedo.
