Beto O’Rourke and Walz Hold Town Hall

By
Rachel Stevenson
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It’s almost adorable, in a way, watching Tim Walz and Beto O’Rourke saddle up for yet another political roadshow—this time in Rosenberg, Texas, a place that, not too long ago, used to be Republican turf. But now? Democrats smell blood in the water, and who better to send in than two guys who’ve made political flops into a lifestyle brand?

Beto, of course, is the familiar face in the room. He’s run for just about everything under the sun and still somehow can’t figure out that Texas isn’t interested in being turned into California 2.0. He’s like the indie rock candidate who never sold an album but keeps booking stadium tours anyway. And now he’s teaming up with Tim Walz—yes, that Tim Walz, the guy who managed to be both invisible and underwhelming as Kamala Harris’ vice-presidential pick. You almost have to respect the confidence.

Let’s be clear here. Walz’s presence on the 2024 ticket added precisely nothing, unless you count the awkward debate with J.D. Vance, where he looked like a high school civics teacher who accidentally wandered onto a national stage. That was supposed to be his moment. Instead, he got politely bulldozed, and the only people who remember it are political junkies and whichever DNC intern was forced to live-tweet it.

And now, instead of taking the hint, Walz is doing the post-election tour trying to convince anyone who will listen that the real problem with the campaign wasn’t the deeply unpopular top of the ticket, the incoherent messaging, or the utter disconnect from working-class America—it was that there wasn’t more of him. He literally told CNN he should’ve been out doing more town halls. You know, the ones where voters might “call him out” but at least they’d see he’s “authentic.” That’s cute, Tim. But you were on the ticket. You weren’t a podcast guest.

The town hall was insane:

Even The Daily Beast, a publication that normally treats Democrat underperformance with kid gloves, has had enough. When they’re publicly rolling their eyes at your “main character syndrome,” it’s probably time to self-reflect, not announce your next speaking tour.

Let’s not forget—Walz was picked as VP because he was safe. Vanilla. Non-threatening. The party needed someone who wouldn’t overshadow Kamala Harris, which, frankly, is a pretty low bar. He had a single viral TV clip that made him seem like a “real guy,” and Democrats thought they’d found their Midwest savior. Until they realized there’s a big difference between “folksy” and “forgettable.”

And the moment the Harris campaign realized he wasn’t helping? They did what Democrats always do with political dead weight: they benched him. He was barely seen in the final stretch of the race, and for good reason. Between the embarrassing debate, the misremembered story about Tiananmen Square, and his overall energy of a substitute gym teacher at a Model UN meeting, it was clear that Walz wasn’t a closer—he was a seat warmer.

But sure, he might run for president in 2028. Why not? The Democratic bench is so thin that recycled mediocrity passes for “experience” these days. And Beto will probably run again too, because when your political brand is built on losing gracefully and giving rousing speeches to empty rooms, there’s always another campaign to chase.

So now they’re in Rosenberg, trying to stir up some buzz in a county that’s flipped in recent years but still isn’t exactly clamoring for Democratic overlords. It’s almost poetic: two guys who can’t take a hint, desperately trying to relive their moment in the spotlight, hoping that this time—this time—it’ll be different. But back in reality, voters are dealing with inflation, crime, and a White House that still can’t string together a coherent sentence. And somehow, they’re supposed to believe Tim Walz is the answer?

Bless their hearts.

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