Minnesota’s highest court has officially decided to let it all hang out—literally.
In a ruling that sounds more like a rejected sketch from “Saturday Night Live” than serious jurisprudence, the Minnesota Supreme Court has now blessed public toplessness for women as perfectly legal, provided it’s not “lewd.” Because, you see, when a woman strolls around a gas station parking lot with her breasts on full display, that’s apparently not sexual, it’s… freedom? Empowerment? Expression? Take your pick—just don’t say indecent exposure, because that might get you labeled as intolerant.
Let’s unpack this circus. Eloisa Rubi Plancarte was busted—again—for walking around town exposing her breasts to the public, this time with an added twist: her run-in with law enforcement ended with her waxing philosophical about Catholic girls and her work as a stripper. Naturally, when the case reached the Minnesota Supreme Court, they decided to rewrite the dictionary and redefine “lewd.” According to Justice Procaccini and his band of legal philosophers, unless the exposure is dripping with overt sexual intent, it’s just… business as usual.
And the Court’s logic? Well, they leaned on the idea that “lewdly” is too ambiguous. Apparently, law enforcement and the general public need a more specific definition than “don’t expose your private parts in public.” And because bodycam footage didn’t show any overtly erotic gestures (sorry, apparently just nudity isn’t enough anymore), Plancarte gets a free pass. Welcome to progressive justice, where common sense goes to die and “context” becomes the magic word to excuse just about anything.
This isn’t about prudishness. This is about public decency. It’s about kids not having to learn anatomy from the local parking lot performer while their parents try to pump gas in peace. It’s about upholding standards that used to be universal because they helped preserve order, modesty, and yes—dare we say it—public safety. But now, in the woke utopia of Walz’s Minnesota, boundaries are oppression, and exposing your breasts in front of a cop is apparently just Tuesday.
The kicker here is the concurring opinion by Justice Sarah Hennesy, who opined that calling female breasts “private parts” contributes to the “sexual objectification of women.” So the new solution is… normalize public nudity? That’ll fix the objectification problem, right? Nothing says “respect me” like flashing strangers at the Kwik Trip. If only those sexist Puritans had figured that out a few centuries ago.
But this isn’t just about one bad ruling. It’s part of the broader collapse we’re seeing across blue states: prosecutors who won’t prosecute, judges who legislate from the bench, and a left-wing cultural class that confuses decadence with liberty. Julie Quist nailed it—activist judges like these aren’t just chipping away at norms, they’re dynamiting the entire moral foundation our kids stand on. While they’re at it, they’ve turned Minnesota into a sanctuary for every radical cause imaginable: gender surgeries for minors, open borders, criminal leniency, and now topless exhibitionism in the name of “equality.”
It’s not equality. It’s anarchy dressed up in the language of rights. And it’s being cheered on by Attorney General Keith Ellison and his progressive allies who seem more interested in placating activists than protecting children. You’d think they’d take a cue from parents, who still want their kids to grow up with a basic sense of decency and dignity. But in Minnesota, that ship has apparently sailed—and its figurehead isn’t wearing a shirt.
So here we are: in a state where burning an American flag might still be considered controversial, but flashing your chest at a gas station is just another expression of “freedom.” This is the upside-down world progressivism has built—where criminals get coddled, modesty gets mocked, and the rest of us are just supposed to smile, nod, and keep paying taxes to fund it all.
